Rewrite Your Money Story: One Decision Can Change Your Life

Nothing in our environment is more significant than our money story. We are presented with the idea of money way before we can even understand it.

It’s a story that defines everything about us, from our wants and ambitions to how we go about our everyday lives.

Given this, we usually fail to recognise our money story’s impact on our lives.

What is a money story?

In essence, it’s the story we’ve created around money that dictates our beliefs and attitudes towards it. It’s the ideas we’ve inherited from our families and communities. 

It is also the messages we’ve absorbed from what we see and hear in the media. Furthermore, it is also the experiences we’ve had with money throughout our lives. 

And, most importantly, it’s the story we tell ourselves about our own worth and value.

How DO You CREATE YOUR Money Story

The answer is straightforward: we don’t. Our money story is written for us before we are even aware of it. It is moulded by the beliefs and values of people around us and the money experiences we have had throughout our lives. It’s also quite tough to change after it’s been established.

Your money story is a strong narrative that defines our thoughts and attitudes towards money and significantly impacts your financial success. But where does this myth originate, and how can we comprehend its roots and impact?

Where does our money story originate?

The solution is complicated. Our family, society, media, and experiences influence it. It stems from our society’s monetary values and the messages we receive about what it means to be successful. It comes from how we observe our friends and peers behaving with money and how we compare ourselves to others.

Even though our money story is written for us, there is still power in taking charge of it. We may begin to rework our money story by knowing it and acknowledging the thoughts and attitudes that support it.

We can create a new narrative, one that aligns with our values and aspirations and that empowers us to live the life we truly want

Our money story can have many different origins, including our childhood, cultural and societal influences, and personal financial experiences.

Our childhood

According to Rachel Cruz in her book “Know Yourself Know Your Money” explains how our unique childhood experiences with money, including how our parents handled finances, can shape our beliefs and behaviors around money .

Our Family story

Our family’s money story can have a huge influence on our personal money story. According to an article written by Joyce Marter for Psychology Today, mentioned that our spending and saving habits are influenced by our family’s money mindset, both positive or negative.

Our personal experiences

Finally, our personal experiences with money can play a vital role in creating a money story. 

For example, if you have previously experienced money problems, you may believe that making more money is not for you.

On the other hand, if you have had great experiences with money, it will be a reinforcement that you can make more money easily.

Types of Money Stories.

There are different types of money stories or money scripts with different names. Based on my work the one that we will focus on this article is written by Brad Klontz, Ted Klontz, and Sonya L. Britt in the journal article “Financial Psychology” and money is love.

The authors explored “money scripts,” which are learned behaviors about money that influences the way a person acts and behavior with money. They suggested that money scripts can be passed down from generation to generation.

Let’s explore in detail what the 5 money scripts or money stories are?

Money avoidance

 “Money Avoidance” script describes the belief that money is bad and the root of all evil. 

They also avoid talking about money topics with friends and families. 

They may feel guilty or ashamed when they do have money. They will avoid it at all costs when it relates to setting up a budget or saving or investing.

When it comes to make financial decisions or talking about any money-related situation, you may feel stressed and anxious, which may affect your mental health. 

The way it will show up with family and friends is that they will struggle to communicate any money-related matters. 

This can also create tension and mistruth as their family and friends may not understand why they cannot talk about money-related topics.

Example:

Someone who avoids discussing anything related to money will not want to know about their finances and budget. 

They will avoid looking at their financial statements to be aware of how much they have in their bank account. This can be related to their past trauma with money.

Money is love.

The “Money is love” script relates to the belief that giving or receiving money is a form of love and caring. People with this script may believe that giving money means showing love or being loved.

The downside to this is that they can use money as a form of control or manipulate others. This is not a healthy relationship and makes it hard to say no to others’ financial demands.

This money script can be problematic, especially for someone who cannot afford it. This can make them feel guilty and ashamed for not being able to provide financially for their loved ones.

Example:

A person who gives gifts of money to family members or friends to express their love. These are the individuals who will buy friendship when meeting new people.

Money vigilance.

The “Money vigilance” script is characterized by beliefs that money must be guarded and saved at all costs and that spending money is always a bad thing. 

People with this script may believe that money is scarce and that they will never have enough, and they may be overly frugal or hoard money. 

They may also feel guilty or ashamed when they do spend money. This script can lead to financial insecurity, as being too afraid to spend money can make it difficult to enjoy life or invest in important things like education or retirement.

Example: 

People with this money script will always think they don’t have enough money. They will watch every cent they spend and question every expense. They will avoid enjoying their money on experiences or even spending $2 at the shops due to a fear of not having enough money in the future.

Money Status.

The “Money status” script is the belief that money measures a person’s worth or success. 

People with this script may believe the more money you have, the more important you are as a people. 

They also believe to prove your worth in society or among friends and family is how much money you have in your bank account.

The downside is they may feel shame or inferiority if they don’t have as much money as others. 

This can lead to a society where the value of an individual is based on their wealth and privilege as opposed to other traits like empathy, emotional intelligence, compassion and creativity. 

Example: A person will go into debt by buying expensive and materialistic items to be perceived as being rich and impress others. 

Money worship

“Money worship” script is the belief that money is the most important thing in life and that having more money will solve all problems. 

People with this script believe that having money means you are happy. They also believe that money brings security and power, and their main focus is to make money at all costs. 

This can lead to the feeling of unfulfillment due to the constant chase of money. They will find it hard to be happy even though they have lots of money. 

Having money should be a means that contributes to happiness. Money creates opportunities rather than happiness.

Belinda Campos, Ph.D. director of the Culture, Relationships, and Health Lab at the University of California Irvine in her study found out that there are other things that can be a measure of happiness other than money. 

How do you REwrite YOUR money story?

The impact to our life from the different money script and story can be profound for yourself and people around us. One of the best ways to move away from these money scripts or money stories is to rewrite it.

By rewriting your money story it will help you to feel confident and empowered with money. It will also help you to feel joy and fulfillment in your life with money. 

The purpose of rewriting your money script or money story is to also shift your behavior around money and that is why awareness is key.

Step 1. Identify your current money story.

The first step in shifting your money story is to identify your money beliefs that contribute to your money story. 

Take time to reflect on your behavior with money and complete the Identify Money Belief Questionnaire. 

Also write down any negative or limiting beliefs you may have in a journal.

Step 2.  Acknowledge your money story.

Once you have identified your negative money beliefs or money story, it’s time to acknowledge them and challenge them. 

Acknowledging means you are freeing yourself from all of the negative emotions such as guilt, stress and anxiety. You are also being kind to yourself.

Then, ask yourself what is the reason behind these assumptions. Try to find evidence that contradicts your negative beliefs.

Step 3. Reframe.

It’s time to create a new and more positive money story by reframing your mindset and belief. Write down a new set of beliefs and attitudes that align with your financial goals and aspirations. 

I have created a series of different reframing examples you can use to help support your journey. 

Step 4. Take action.

Changing your money story is about taking action to shift your behavior. Taking small steps is a great start towards your new money story, educating yourself, learning from others, journaling, creating a budget etc.

Over time, these small actions will help reinforce your new beliefs and turn them into positive financial habits.

Final thoughts 

Our money story is one of the most powerful stories you create and tell yourself. It shapes your beliefs and behavior towards money and can have an extreme impact on your ability to achieve financial success and fulfillment. 

Shifting your money story is an influential way to transform your relationship with money.

By understanding our money story and taking control of it, we can create a new story that aligns with our values and empowers us to live the life we truly want.